Who Is The Boss? Are You Running Things or is Your Team?

Ever walked into your workplace and felt like your team was calling the shots, not you?

Maybe it started subtly. A staff member made a call on something you’d normally decide. Someone else began setting their own schedule. Now it feels like every day you’re reacting, not leading — and you’re not quite sure how it got to this point.

It happens more often than you’d think, especially in growing businesses. Leaders start with the best intentions, but somewhere along the way, the balance shifts. You end up juggling the leftovers, avoiding conflict, and wondering when exactly you became the passenger instead of the driver.

The good news? You can take back control. Here’s how to spot the warning signs, why this happens, and what to do if your team feels like they’ve taken over.

How Control Slips Away

It usually starts with trying to do the right thing. You want to give your team autonomy, show them you trust them, and avoid being a micromanager. Maybe you don’t love conflict, so you let little things slide. Or perhaps you handed over a responsibility without clear expectations, and now someone else is running with it, way past the point they should.

Before you know it, you’re working around one difficult staff member, or even avoiding conversations altogether. You stop leading and start reacting. And when that becomes the norm, the business starts to feel less like yours and more like it’s been hijacked.

The Psychology Behind Why We Let It Happen

There are a few very human reasons this situation develops:

• Fear of conflict: It’s easier to keep the peace than have a tough conversation
• Fear of getting it wrong: Second guessing your decisions can lead to inaction
• A desire to be liked: Prioritising popularity over respect creates blurred lines
• Confusing delegation with abdication: You want to empower your team, but without clear structure, it turns into chaos

At the heart of it, most business owners don’t set out to lose control. They just want to be fair, inclusive, and supportive. But when that turns into giving away key decisions, it can undermine the entire team dynamic.

Red Flags That You’re No Longer Leading

Not sure if this is happening in your business? These subtle signs are often the early warning indicators that things are off balance:

• A team member is dictating terms: deciding their own hours, picking and choosing which clients or tasks they’ll take on
• You avoid addressing poor performance to keep the peace
• The business owner or manager is walking on eggshells, literally avoiding the team or ducking out of the office to sidestep conflict
• You're asking for permission instead of giving direction
• You’ve given your team too much say in areas outside their remit, like strategic decisions, budgets or vision setting
• A staff member is acting like a quasi business partner, claiming credit but dodging responsibility
• You feel like you’re picking up all the scraps, the leftover tasks no one else wants

None of this happens overnight. It creeps in slowly. But left unchecked, it can create a workplace where you no longer feel in control.

So What Do You Do?

The solution isn’t about becoming a hard-nosed boss or changing your personality. It’s about stepping into your leadership role with clarity, structure and confidence.

1. Step Into Leadership

Being the boss doesn’t mean being bossy. It means owning your role as the decision-maker, setting direction, and creating the environment your team needs to thrive.

You don’t need to change who you are. But you do need to lead, even when it’s uncomfortable.

2. Draw a Clear Line in the Sand

Have a conversation with the team member (or members) who are overstepping. It doesn’t need to be harsh. You can simply say something like:

"I’ve noticed that some boundaries have become unclear, and that’s on me. I want to reset expectations moving forward and be really clear on where decisions sit and what I need from you."

You can take ownership of what you let slide while also making it clear that things are changing from here.

3. Reinforce Boundaries and Expectations

If your team doesn’t know what the boundaries are, they’ll create their own. And if those boundaries aren’t enforced, they’ll disappear altogether.

Clarify:

• Who is responsible for what
• Where decision-making authority sits
• What behaviours and actions are acceptable
• What performance standards are expected

4. Bring in Structure

This is the game-changer. Clear position descriptions. KPIs. Performance conversations. Planning days with purpose.

Structure creates clarity. It removes confusion. And it puts you back in the driver’s seat.

Let your team have ownership, but within the scope of their role and responsibilities.

5. Reset the Balance of Respect

Being liked by your team is great. Being respected is essential.

When your team respects you, they’ll trust your leadership. They’ll take feedback seriously. They’ll bring you ideas without expecting to run the show.

You can be approachable and human without handing over the reins.

Taking Back Control Doesn’t Mean Doing It Alone

Getting back in charge of your business can feel daunting. But remember, this isn’t about doing everything yourself. It’s about re-establishing your role as the leader and giving your team the support, structure and clarity they need to succeed.

You’re not here to pick up the scraps and tiptoe around strong personalities. You’re here to lead, to grow the business, and to create a team that works with you, not over you.

Start with one conversation. Draw one boundary. Put one structure in place. The shift doesn’t have to be massive to make a meaningful difference.

An Invitation

If you’d like to connect with other business owners, leaders and managers, I’d love for you to join us inside our free Facebook Group where you can connect with other like minded business owners, leaders and managers to discuss all things HR: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hrsupportaustralia